This morning started out as any normal morning does at my home- Bennett playing in his crib, and finally he is loud enough for me to wake up, roll out of bed, and go get him. We then eat breakfast, have a bottle, and play for a couple hours in the living room. Josh woke up around 8:30 (it was his day to sleep in, lucky guy!). He then got a phone call from his boss, and the day quickly took a turn for the worst. The phone call was rough for him, and he was pretty upset afterwards. So I encouraged him to get out of the house for a bit, blow off some steam, cool down, go for a run... you know, what guys do to release their anger/frusteration/sadness. So he took me up on my offer.
I have noticed, though, that when he has a bad day, it affects me! I hate to see him hurt and upset. I want to fight for him and help him feel better. If I am unable to, it really bums me out. So that was the beginning of the day. Bummer. But totally not the type of thing that can ruin a whole day. We will get through it... right? WRONG.
Then, Bennett fell asleep in the car while we were taking him to the park to play. Normally, he naps in the morning and the afternoon, but lately that morning nap has been giving us fits. Well, today he needed a nap but decided to take it at 11:30am. Horrible timing for a possibility of an afternoon nap.
This may not seem like a big deal, but IT IS. I NEED his afternoon nap. For MY sanity.
So we woke him up. He was fussy. In a terrible mood. But I kept him awake and finally at 3pm I decided to try for a nap. That is later than his normal afternoon nap time but I thought he would go down fine since he had hardly slept all day. WRONG again. Cried. For 30 minutes. Went to check on him... poopy diaper, of course. So I changed him, rocked him, then put him back down. Cried. For another 30 minutes. I finally gave up trying and brought him back downstairs.
After that he was in a relatively decent mood. I was goofing around with him putting my hat on him backwards, and he was actually letting me! He hates hats, so this was major! I thought it was so cute that I got my camera out to take his picture. Instead, with the hat still on his head, he stood up and walked away. Well that would be awesome except the hat slipped over his eyes, he stumbled, and fell flat on his face. Like, serious face-plant. Not only that, but his face smacked right into one of his HARD toys. He immediately started wailing. I threw the camera down, scooped him up and held him tight. First I called Josh, and he told me to call the Doctor. So I did. The nurse said from how I explained it to her, he should be fine. To try to ice it if he would let me (yea right. He won't hardly even let me wipe his face with a damp cloth without putting up a fight.) She also told me to give him some baby tylenol if I thought that would be helpful. I then began crying because it scared me so bad. His eye is swollen and red, and pretty bruised underneath. I hope he doesn't have a black eye.
I swear, this day was against me.
Please be better to me tomorrow. Please. My patience is on empty. Please.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Last days of summer
My summer is winding down. It has been an exciting, eventful, and exhausting few months (pardon all the "e's")!! Can you really be all those things at once?!
I can't believe I only have one week left before it is back to the grind. I am excited for a change of pace and the chance to be out of the house a lot. But I am going to miss all the memories with Bennett. The morning laughs, the meals and new foods we try, the pool adventures, play-dates, doctors appointments, first's... you get my drift! It has been such an amazing experience getting to be a "stay-at-home" mom for the summer. I have more appreciation for the moms who do it year round, and do not feel like it is my calling to be a 100% full-time, homemaker. But I am thankful for a break from work and lots of quality time with my family.
I am going to try and enjoy this last week as much as possible, because my next break will be Thanksgiving, and won't be 4 months long, that is for sure!!!
I can't believe I only have one week left before it is back to the grind. I am excited for a change of pace and the chance to be out of the house a lot. But I am going to miss all the memories with Bennett. The morning laughs, the meals and new foods we try, the pool adventures, play-dates, doctors appointments, first's... you get my drift! It has been such an amazing experience getting to be a "stay-at-home" mom for the summer. I have more appreciation for the moms who do it year round, and do not feel like it is my calling to be a 100% full-time, homemaker. But I am thankful for a break from work and lots of quality time with my family.
I am going to try and enjoy this last week as much as possible, because my next break will be Thanksgiving, and won't be 4 months long, that is for sure!!!
I am a Woman!
There was a Women's Conference this week at my church, and one of the nights, a friend of mine, Tiffany Williams, did a short monolague. It was written by another person whom Sheri Silk introduces on the podcast.... It is about ten minutes total in length, but literally amazing if you are a woman, or, more specifically, a mother.
Here is the link. Take a few minutes to encourage your spirit, moms! You are truly amazing, and this reaffirmed in me the calling of God it takes to raise children. We are blessed, and by raising children who love the Lord, we are impacting generations we may never see.
ENJOY! I did! :)
P.S.... on the link, it is the first part of the video so no need to search. And if you don't have an account to iBethel.tv, I am not sure if the link will work. But try it out!
Here is the link. Take a few minutes to encourage your spirit, moms! You are truly amazing, and this reaffirmed in me the calling of God it takes to raise children. We are blessed, and by raising children who love the Lord, we are impacting generations we may never see.
ENJOY! I did! :)
P.S.... on the link, it is the first part of the video so no need to search. And if you don't have an account to iBethel.tv, I am not sure if the link will work. But try it out!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Laughter In the Morning
One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is giggles and laughter with my son in the mornings.
Some mornings, just like I do sometimes, Bennett wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. It is so frusterating when you are tired, groggy, and haven't had any coffee, to try and deal with a fussy baby. It starts the day off all wrong.
But on the mornings where he wakes up in a good mood, life is amazing! He is smile-ly, laughing, and snuggles and giggles fill the air. I just love it. It makes for a wonderful start to any morning when Bennett smiles at me. I love that little boy even when hes in a bad mood, but it makes it much more fun to be around him when he is happy!
Some mornings, just like I do sometimes, Bennett wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. It is so frusterating when you are tired, groggy, and haven't had any coffee, to try and deal with a fussy baby. It starts the day off all wrong.
But on the mornings where he wakes up in a good mood, life is amazing! He is smile-ly, laughing, and snuggles and giggles fill the air. I just love it. It makes for a wonderful start to any morning when Bennett smiles at me. I love that little boy even when hes in a bad mood, but it makes it much more fun to be around him when he is happy!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Sneak Peek
Here is a sneak peek at some family photos taken by Josh's uncle this past June. One of these will probably be the star of our 2011 Christmas card :)
This is the cutest one of Bennett...which means even if it isn't the cutest one of me, we have to go with it!
The grandparents- 3 Gillispie generations
Uncle Sean!
Bennett and I... I love this boy so much!
Grandparents, Gillispie brothers, and some of the cousins!
The brothers and some of the kids being goofy! Love this one.
What a great family. Hopefully there will be many more family photos to come with the Gillispie side!
What a great family. Hopefully there will be many more family photos to come with the Gillispie side!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Stationery Card
Sweet Baby Elephant Birthday Invitation
Shutterfly has you covered for Birthdays, Valentines Day and more.
View the entire collection of cards.
Mountain Illustration
As Josh and I talked last night, he gave a great illustration of what we are walking through right now.
He went on a midnight hike to Lassen Peak (a 10,457 ft. peak just east of Redding). As he was hiking with his friends, he said "This mountain is like my life right now- my finances, everything." He was saying the hike was so difficult that he was literally lifting his legs up by pulling on his jeans. Every time he got to a small plateau in the landscape, he would wonder how much further there was to go. Sometimes he didn't think he could make it any further. But a friend or stranger would say, "You are almost there". Even when there was a long way to go, everyone kept saying it wouldn't be much further. Finally, at 11:30pm, he made it to the peak. He said that the whole way up, he had seen 20-30 people turn around in defeat. "It is just too hard" they said. When he got to the top and could see out over the entire city, and the surrounding cities, he decided it was well worth the work. He was afraid at first to go all the way to the top, but once he was there, it was worth the fear, too. He said the whole way up he felt like this mountain was happening to him. Once he got to the top, he realized that HE just happened to that mountain!
This is the story of our life right now. Everyday it seems like our legs just can't move any further. It feels too hard. It feels too scary. We are literally begging for the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone keeps saying, you guys can do it! You are almost there! But our circumstances say we have a lot further to go. We do not want to be the people who turn around halfway there and say, "Its just too hard". We want to be the ones at the top of the peak saying, "This was so worth it!" God has something beautiful in store for us. We have to cling to the possibility that all the trials and storms will be well worth the fight. We won't just let life happen to us. In the end, we will look back and say, "We have happened to our life!"
He went on a midnight hike to Lassen Peak (a 10,457 ft. peak just east of Redding). As he was hiking with his friends, he said "This mountain is like my life right now- my finances, everything." He was saying the hike was so difficult that he was literally lifting his legs up by pulling on his jeans. Every time he got to a small plateau in the landscape, he would wonder how much further there was to go. Sometimes he didn't think he could make it any further. But a friend or stranger would say, "You are almost there". Even when there was a long way to go, everyone kept saying it wouldn't be much further. Finally, at 11:30pm, he made it to the peak. He said that the whole way up, he had seen 20-30 people turn around in defeat. "It is just too hard" they said. When he got to the top and could see out over the entire city, and the surrounding cities, he decided it was well worth the work. He was afraid at first to go all the way to the top, but once he was there, it was worth the fear, too. He said the whole way up he felt like this mountain was happening to him. Once he got to the top, he realized that HE just happened to that mountain!
This is the story of our life right now. Everyday it seems like our legs just can't move any further. It feels too hard. It feels too scary. We are literally begging for the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone keeps saying, you guys can do it! You are almost there! But our circumstances say we have a lot further to go. We do not want to be the people who turn around halfway there and say, "Its just too hard". We want to be the ones at the top of the peak saying, "This was so worth it!" God has something beautiful in store for us. We have to cling to the possibility that all the trials and storms will be well worth the fight. We won't just let life happen to us. In the end, we will look back and say, "We have happened to our life!"
Sunday, August 14, 2011
My Great Reward
Josh got me a new CD a few weeks ago. It is William Matthews first CD, called "Hope's Anthem". Check it out here. He is a wonderful worship leader, originally from IHOP I believe and now he leads at Bethel all the time. Anyways, I have been listening to the CD a lot, but today God totally used one of his songs to meet me where I am at.
Josh and I have been going through some serious trials recently financially. Our whole marriage has been filled with financial testing, and I was ready for it to be over with a long time ago. Just this past week, however, another wave came crashing down on top of us and it annihilated me *okay, so I am being a little dramatic...but it really sucked.*
Anyways, a friend of ours asked me how I was doing and it led to a conversation that was NEEDED, but it was tough for me to swallow the things he was saying. He really felt like I needed to turn to the Lord and lay it all down before Him. That really is the only way.
So then this afternoon I was playing Will's CD and the song, "My Great Reward" came on. Without giving you all the lyrics, here are the ones that really ministered to my heart today...
...Healer of the broken, defender of the weak
I'll worship you for all my days
...Jesus you are my great reward
You are the prize worth living for
So I'll trade it all to love you more
My great reward, My great reward...
Jesus is my great reward... that to me was like revelation from Heaven today. Jesus. Just Jesus. What does it mean for Him to be my great reward? Most people...okay, I... think of a great reward as a raise at a job, nice things (cars, clothes, dates, etc.) I really felt so stirred today as I was thinking of our situation about the true meaning of great reward. All of life's valuables are great. Don't get me wrong, I am the first to tell you I want a house one day. I would love to have 2 cars so my husband and I didn't have to share one. I would love cable....or even just a TV. Sacrifice has been the name of the game the past three years. Every time I feel like I have given up all I can give up, the Lord takes it to a whole new level. And I am not happy about it. I won't sit here and say that I know what it means to make Jesus my great reward... yet. But I think what Jesus was trying to speak to me was that no matter what...no matter what...I will lay my desires, longings, needs, everything, before His throne. Jesus wants to be all that I need.
"So I'll trade it all to love you more..." That lyric is hard. I mean seriously. I will trade it ALL. That is asking so much. That takes serious Faith. Trust. Surrender. I have a difficult time surrendering my will. I am on board with the Lord wanting to give us the desires of our hearts. But before He says he will do that, He says, Delight yourself in the Lord. Only then will He give you the desires of your heart. Delight... does that mean just enjoy the Lord? A friend of mine once said that it means to stay like clay in His hands. To give all of yourself to Him. Only when you give it ALL, does He give you your desires. I'll trade it all to love you more. Hmm. Teach me this Jesus. I want to be willing to lay EVERYTHING at Jesus' feet. To say, "It is all yours, if only I can know Your heart more than I do now". Is all that I need/want in life to know the heart of the Father? Tough. Really, really tough. The religion in me would say, why yes of course. Because that is the answer that will make me look put together, faithful, and truly walking with the Lord. But the freedom in me says to be honest with myself. That I am nowhere near perfect, and that is okay.
Josh and I have been going through some serious trials recently financially. Our whole marriage has been filled with financial testing, and I was ready for it to be over with a long time ago. Just this past week, however, another wave came crashing down on top of us and it annihilated me *okay, so I am being a little dramatic...but it really sucked.*
Anyways, a friend of ours asked me how I was doing and it led to a conversation that was NEEDED, but it was tough for me to swallow the things he was saying. He really felt like I needed to turn to the Lord and lay it all down before Him. That really is the only way.
So then this afternoon I was playing Will's CD and the song, "My Great Reward" came on. Without giving you all the lyrics, here are the ones that really ministered to my heart today...
...Healer of the broken, defender of the weak
I'll worship you for all my days
...Jesus you are my great reward
You are the prize worth living for
So I'll trade it all to love you more
My great reward, My great reward...
Jesus is my great reward... that to me was like revelation from Heaven today. Jesus. Just Jesus. What does it mean for Him to be my great reward? Most people...okay, I... think of a great reward as a raise at a job, nice things (cars, clothes, dates, etc.) I really felt so stirred today as I was thinking of our situation about the true meaning of great reward. All of life's valuables are great. Don't get me wrong, I am the first to tell you I want a house one day. I would love to have 2 cars so my husband and I didn't have to share one. I would love cable....or even just a TV. Sacrifice has been the name of the game the past three years. Every time I feel like I have given up all I can give up, the Lord takes it to a whole new level. And I am not happy about it. I won't sit here and say that I know what it means to make Jesus my great reward... yet. But I think what Jesus was trying to speak to me was that no matter what...no matter what...I will lay my desires, longings, needs, everything, before His throne. Jesus wants to be all that I need.
"So I'll trade it all to love you more..." That lyric is hard. I mean seriously. I will trade it ALL. That is asking so much. That takes serious Faith. Trust. Surrender. I have a difficult time surrendering my will. I am on board with the Lord wanting to give us the desires of our hearts. But before He says he will do that, He says, Delight yourself in the Lord. Only then will He give you the desires of your heart. Delight... does that mean just enjoy the Lord? A friend of mine once said that it means to stay like clay in His hands. To give all of yourself to Him. Only when you give it ALL, does He give you your desires. I'll trade it all to love you more. Hmm. Teach me this Jesus. I want to be willing to lay EVERYTHING at Jesus' feet. To say, "It is all yours, if only I can know Your heart more than I do now". Is all that I need/want in life to know the heart of the Father? Tough. Really, really tough. The religion in me would say, why yes of course. Because that is the answer that will make me look put together, faithful, and truly walking with the Lord. But the freedom in me says to be honest with myself. That I am nowhere near perfect, and that is okay.
Blogging Again!
Well, I have decided after taking a long break from writing, to begin again. I used to process so well through writing, and enjoyed it so much. With the birth of my son and life's craziness, blogging got put to the back burner, and every time I tried to pick it up again I felt no peace from the Lord.
Today, as I was thinking through some of the tough things I am going through, I felt urged to write. The desire has been gone for so long and because I felt it today, I totally think that is the Lord bringing me into a new season with Him.
I will try to do my best to blog often. Most of the time when I write, it is to process... so not many "foo foo" fun posts here. I definitely try to include the joys of my life, but this is more of an inside look at my heart... vulnerable, real, and sometimes really rough. :) I feel like the only way to connect with myself, the Lord, and others, is to put it all out there. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Here goes nothing :)
Today, as I was thinking through some of the tough things I am going through, I felt urged to write. The desire has been gone for so long and because I felt it today, I totally think that is the Lord bringing me into a new season with Him.
I will try to do my best to blog often. Most of the time when I write, it is to process... so not many "foo foo" fun posts here. I definitely try to include the joys of my life, but this is more of an inside look at my heart... vulnerable, real, and sometimes really rough. :) I feel like the only way to connect with myself, the Lord, and others, is to put it all out there. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Here goes nothing :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)